Leftista

I have a couple of friends who happen to be proud, conservative members of the GOP. Not the real wingnut type of conservative, mind you, but rather the more normal-looking kind of conservative, with the paunch and bushy eyebrows.

As I said, they seem normal enough. However, once the wine starts flowing…once talk turns to politics…then whatever vestiges of outward normalcy disappear and weird things come clawing and scratching their way to the surface.

The weirdest thing I’ve heard lately has to be this pervasive fear – and it seems real – that Obama is secretly working on behalf of Kenya. Yeah, you read that right. This statement tends to surface – not with an abashed grin, nor an apologetic downturn of the eyes – but with firm conviction. They really believe this stuff. In the absence of credible evidence – nay, any evidence – they believe that Obama is Kenya’s top secret operative. The perfectly placed mole of moles, if you will.

Their illogic goes something like this:

Obama has family ties to Kenya, therefore he secretly must be working for the Kenyans.

That’s it. That’s the premise. Hard to believe? I thought so too. But, remember, these are typically the same people who believe that the magical being who created billions of stars and planets also took time out to impregnate a 15-year old middle-eastern girl sans permission. (“Whoa, hold on there, pardner” I can hear the Right saying, “God don’t need permission. If he wants a woman, he takes the woman.” But I digress.)

Ok. Let’s apply this same GOP illogic elsewhere. Hmmm… So Timothy Geithner, who has family ties to Germany, is secretly working for the Germans? Joe Biden is secretly working for the Irish? John Boehner is secretly in bed with Merkel, while Pelosi is hard at work for the Italians??? Crazy. But for some reason, the wingnut Right believes that Obama is secretly working on behalf of the Kenyans… (Sounds pretty silly when we apply their illogic to white people. I’ve asked my conservative friends about this, and the best they can do is look away sheepishly. Do they only apply their illogic to black people?)

The truth hurts: Most conservatives appear outwardly normal until that heady mix of wine & politics hits. Then the batshit (thank you, Bill Maher) comes out flyin’. You may have to egg them on a bit to get them talking about it. But when it comes out you’ll see it firsthand as, indeed, have I. It’s weird & it’s real, people.  The rift runs deep. Maybe John Edwards was right when he said we really are two different countries…